This month, I’ve chosen the mantra So Hum as my theme for our online classes. It’s a mantra that has been an anchor in my personal practice, reminding me to zoom out and see the bigger picture—especially when life feels challenging.
When difficulties arise, it’s natural for our focus to narrow. Our vision contracts, and the world feels like it’s closing in. We fixate on our challenges, allowing them to dominate our thoughts and emotions. In these moments, we can become consumed by the problem at hand, feeling trapped within the confines of our ego—often without being able to see a way out.. However, I’ve found that by turning to tools that expand my awareness, I can reconnect with my sense of self. I am reminded that I am far more than just this current struggle, and I can better navigate my way out of the spiral.
At its essence, So Hum means "I Am That." In the Vedas, "That" often refers to the universe or universal consciousness. But what I love about the mantra is its ambiguity—"That" can mean whatever resonates with you. It could be your connection to nature, your infinite potential/higher self, God, or simply the vastness of existence—the universe itself.
Personally, in the journey of my life, I have been navigating the grief of loss—specifically the loss and grief that comes with infertility. Despite the advancements of modern medicine, this dream feels increasingly elusive, stretching beyond reach. Each failure brings moments of deep despair, anger, and sadness. Even with years of self-awareness and spiritual practice and study, I remain human, vulnerable to the overwhelming pull of a heavy heart and crushed dreams. Some days, I feel like I’m doing okay, strong, brave and hopeful. Other days, I regress back into the downward spiral of despeair. This is the process, and in this process, kindness to ourselves is essential (and so is kindness to others going through their process).
I also trust that this journey is unfolding with purpose. I believe there are lessons in this darkness, however painful they may be. I’ve heard it said that depression is a deep calling for the soul to awaken. When I reflect on that, I realize I have been needing this call, and for that, I am grateful. This experience is pulling me back onto my spiritual path in ways I hadn’t imagined.
Deep down, I know that this darkness is not an end, but rather a fertile ground for growth and deeper expansion, even if I am not sure how that will look right now. The contraction I feel is part of the pulse of life, preparing me for profound shifts that I may not fully understand yet. The pain, the grief, and the struggle are necessary parts of the greater rhythm, leading me to a more expansive and awakened version of myself.
Spanda
Spanda is a Sanskrit term that means "vibration," "pulsation," or "movement." In yogic philosophy, it represents the dynamic rhythm of life—the interplay between opposites like expansion and contraction, stillness and motion. It’s the subtle, creative pulse that underlies all existence, from the cycles of breath to the beating of the heart, and even the movement of galaxies.
In the Tantric tradition, Spanda is linked to the energy of Shakti, the divine feminine force, and serves as a reminder that life is inherently dynamic and ever-changing. Even in moments of stillness, there is an underlying vibration. This paradox of motion within stillness reflects the essence of life itself.
Spanda is the inner pulse of consciousness—the awareness that flows through us, connecting us to the infinite rhythms of the universe. It reminds us that contraction is not inherently negative. Instead, it is part of the natural cycle of life, a precursor to expansion.
Contraction Holds the Seeds of Expansion
When life contracts—through grief, anger, or hardship—it can feel like the world is closing in. But Spanda teaches us that contraction is not the end. It’s part of the greater rhythm of expansion and renewal. This philosophy encourages us to embrace life's ebb and flow, recognizing that every contraction holds the seeds of expansion.
Whenever we begin to spiral inward, I invite you to return to this mantra: So Hum. It serves as a gentle reminder to expand your awareness and reconnect with the essence of who you are.
How to Practice "So Hum"
Practicing So Hum is simple yet deeply transformative. Here’s how to begin:
Find a Quiet Space: Sit comfortably and close your eyes.
Focus on Your Breath:
As you inhale, feel the expansion of the body; on the exhale, feel the contraction.
Visualize this rhythm of expansion and contraction as the pulse of life, Spanda.
Engage the Third Eye: Bring your awareness to your third eye, the point between your eyebrows, and gently deepen this awareness to the center of your brain, at the pineal gland.
Imagine drawing the breath in through this point, down the central column of the body to the base of the spine.
On the exhale, feel the breath rising back up and out through the third eye.
Add the Mantra: Silently say "So" on the inhale and "Hum" on the exhale.
Allow Thoughts to Pass: If your mind wanders, gently bring your focus back to your breath and the mantra.
Feel the Expansion: As you repeat the mantra, feel into your expansive nature. You may connect with expanding emotions like joy, gratitude, profound love. Or perhaps you can visualise your awareness exapandning out into the vast universe, feeling at one in the cosmos.
Expanding Through Life's Rhythms
I know how easy it is to spiral downward, how that spiral narrows your perspective, making the world feel smaller and heavier. But I also know how vital it is to resist that contraction, to fight for expansion. For me, prioritizing my spiritual practice has been a lifeline. It’s a way to remind myself that I am more than my story.
I Am That.
I Am The Universe—vast, infinite, and timeless.
I Am A Soul, having a human experience.
Life is happening for me, not to me.
This moment is part of the bigger picture.
This perspective helps me stay open, even in the face of pain. It reminds me of Spanda, the pulse of life in yoga philosophy—the constant rhythm of expansion and contraction. Life will contract; it’s inevitable. But the question is, can we open again?
For me, So Hum is a powerful reminder to open. When we meditate on it, the mantra invites us back into our expansive nature. It nudges us to remember who we truly are and to reconnect with the awe, joy, gratitude, and love that lie within us.
This is not to say the process is easy. Some days, I manage to tap into these expansive states of being. Other days, my world contracts until all that remains is the small, quiet space beneath the duvet. But even in those moments, the mantra is there, whispering to me, supporting me and reminding me, that I am so much more than this moment or this story.
If you’re navigating challenges of your own, I invite you to sit with So Hum. Let it guide you to zoom out, to soften into your true nature, and to remember the vast, beautiful universe that lives within you.
Even if you’re not currently facing any challenges, continue to strengthen your practice. Life will naturally contract at times, and in those moments, your practice will offer the space to return to your expansive self.
Where are you in the pulse of life right now?
What does THAT mean to you?
I would love to know in the comments.
Thank you for listening.
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